So first, be careful to not actually say your ex is a narcissist in your materials, for a few reasons:
Narcissism Personality Disorder is a DSM-5 diagnosis. Unless you have a Phd that qualifies you to make that determination, don't. And even if you do, don't as people with a vested interest in the case can't give expert testimony.
And even if you did have an expert witness give that diagnosis for the ex.... it's not going to matter. It doesn't change how much support one party gets/pays. doesn't change the Equalization Payment, and despite their mental disorder, if they are still a good parent, they will have a very good shot at 50/50 being the starting point for their access. In other words... them being a self centred jerk in itself is not legally relevant.
Court doesn't care about people being mean to each other EXCEPT when it interferes with their ability to co-parent and when it affects the kids. Likewise someone could sleep with the football team, or entire cheerleader squad while they were married; and no one is going to care because it's not legally relevant.
If you go down the road of illustrating every point of bad behaviour; it can back fire on you. Case law is full of one parent calling out the other with names and accusations ... and you'd be surprised at how often the complaining party loses and the narcissist wins because they keep their cool and play it smart; while triggering the other party.
Instead... do this:
Keep your arguments child centric. Focus on the good things that the ex does do (this gives you objective credibility and will actually cut down on the underlying conflict which is what is feeling the narcissistic wraith aimed at you).
If their systemic behaviour is having a detrimental effect on the kids, illustrate the fallout it is having on the kids... but (and this will require some mental gymnastics) - remember that no one is a villain in their own story. No one sets out to purposely do a wrong thing that they believe is wrong or unjustified.
Show the court you have insight and mindfulness and respect (I know... I know) for where your ex is coming from and why they are doing what they are doing. This will do a few things for you. It shows that you do not hold the other in such distain that there is a danger of you poisoning the mind of the child against the ex. This will also show you have the ability to coparent, not just in a 50/50 situation, but in an 80/20 situation with the child primarily with you because you defended your ex's actions to the court. This will tell the court that you'll help preserve the relationship between the child and your ex.
While you think that is an unfair expectation, there is PLENTY of case law where the parent who is unable to show they will preserve the relationship between their child and their ex, loses.
Them being a narcissist is no doubt soul sucking and causes real long term emotional damage that can cripple you in years to come. This I know. But. It CAN be used to your advantage and it doesn't have to define your life or ruin the life of you kids.
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